What do I do if I offer time-in and my child reacts to it angrily and shouts no? What happens if the challenging behavior takes the form of pushing parents away, how do we achieve a time-in or other love based parenting approaches especially when children react so negatively?”
As always you do what you can, not what you can’t. What do I do when my spouse has a meltdown and she doesn’t want to be hugged, touched, talked to and just wants to be LEFT ALONE? I step back – even though I want to ‘help’, and say, “ok honey. I can do that. I will be here when you need or want me. I will be right here (wherever here is…). The key is – when you get a negative reaction, the underlying fear has been stimulated. That is a message not to be dismissed or judged. It is to be heeded, accepted and learned from. We don’t punish fear, but try to calm the distress. We cannot control our children – a great illusion shattered – but we can influence them.