I recall one Christmas where one adopted RAD son had an absolute meltdown at my in-laws Christmas Day huge family gathering. Although I don’t recall how it began, I can imagine it began like most other “out of control” events, with a simple little, even maybe tiny thing or incident that I, in my parenting ignorance fanned into a bonfire of mess. We eventually had four adults each grab one of my son’s limbs while he screamed bloody murder, fighting, kicking trying to bite as we carried him back into the house with some of the family members shouting things like – I know a local cop – want me to call him? or Should we take him to the hospital? None of this was necessary. In fact, once I calmed down and let him just calm down, he played by himself in a room till all was well. He just wanted to be left alone. I have come to see that a little bit of Bryan can go a long way from keeping ‘all those itty bitty little things’ from turning into weapons of mass destruction.
Talk about embarrassing… The family, kind enough with their intentions, knew that our adopted son was of course to blame and offered us their condolences for our situation. And this was after we had met Bryan Post. As impressed as we were with his new paradigm parenting approach for children with trauma histories, it was just not enough to “Get my Bryan on” and do the right thing. Even after years and years, and working for the Post Institute for seven of those, I still have trouble doing the right thing. How do I manage all this failure? By realizing that there is no “right thing”, just the next best thing that I can do – and a lot of it turns out not so good. But a lot turns out good. And this is why I do this work.
I know how not to do it. I just need more practice, more reading, more understanding, more love… more Bryan.
So to help you with with your holiday season, to help you to have a Happy Holiday rather than one like I describe above, here are some tools,tips and techniques that can help you Get Your Bryan On this year. We will be offering these over the next couple of weeks in emails, our Facebook Page and our Blog. Let us know what you learn this year and how things work for you.
Have a calm and peaceful holiday season.