What was your upbringing like as a child?

Bad Behavior CartoonParents may have difficult time in being empathetic to a crying child because as children themselves, they were told that expressing feelings, crying, or being angry was not acceptable. What was your upbringing like?

Our ability to accept and tolerate emotional expression sets a benchmark for our children’s ability to accept their own emotions and those of others. For example, if the crying of a small child is agitating to the parent, the parent will attempt to curtail the crying rather than soothing the child. In this manner the emotional expression itself becomes the threat and the soothing of the child is merely a means to an end. The breakdown occurs in that the child senses that the demand to stop the cry or efforts to comfort the child to stop the crying are just that, efforts to end the crying. In this manner the child is still being energetically conveyed that their emotional expression is not okay and is not acceptable to the parent. Such subtle and common approaches towards dealing with emotion cause us to identify our emotions as shameful, rather than as merely energetic attempts to make adjustments and transitions. Freedom of emotional expression frees up the mind, body, and soul. It naturally fosters more open, flexible, and creative children.

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