The Practice of Parenting

Parenting is more than technique. It is really a skill set. And to do it well it must become a practice. The practice disposes us to allow something to take place. Take for example the gardener. The gardener does not actually grow anything. Gardeners practice certain skills that facilitate growth (or kill the growth). But growth itself is beyond the gardener's direct ability to control. Growth itself is up to the plant to make use of the elements needed.

There are other practices as well that predispose us to experience it that which we desire or seek, such as spiritual practice. The practice itself does not make things happen or guarantee any result. It is merely putting our best effort forward to allow the highest and grandest results. A fool with a tool is still a fool. Don't be fooled. All the parenting tools in the world won't give you the results you want. It is with wisdom and love that we proceed with our best effort of guidance - always intent on nurturing the relationship that will allow for the greatest and grandest result in the life of our child as they see it - not as we see it.

Our parenting practice should not add baggage to our children that would slow them down and add barriers that they will eventually need to discard, some with great effort. Our practice should allow them the freedom to live the life they choose. If we choose love and act with wisdom in our parenting practice, our children may choose the same route, and pass that legacy on to their families. Love and wisdom do not control, do not dominate but offer guidance that can be accepted or rejected without judgment. We would do well to offer the same gift to ourselves. Practice does not make perfect as is sometimes said. Although without practice, little is accomplished. So let our practice begin.

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