Normal vs Natural Parenting

fear-love-buttonThere is a world of difference between normal and natural. Traditional and typical parenting approaches and practices appear normal, as things usually done. Natural is how you at when you're not trying to be normal. Acting with love is the most natural thing you can do. Act with love and you will act naturally. Reacting from fear may appear normal, but it will never be natural.
Choose love.

Attachment Disorder: Fact or Fiction? Pt 1 of 2

by Bryan Post

Much like physicians, mental health professionals gather information and symptoms in order to offer accurate diagnoses. The problem is that seeking and identifying only the negative behaviors leaves us with a limited time frame in which to see the child. It’s similar to judging a rotten apple without fully considering the tree it grew on and all the other elements that have gone into its making. The reality is that a child is much more than a psychiatric label and possesses much more than the prevalent negative behaviors.

As we examine the diagnosis Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) the reader must consider a few points interest:

First, individuals are much more than a diagnosis. Research indicates that stress and trauma can be passed down from one generation to the next while having an immediate effect on the DNA of our body. Individuals are more than a simple framework for his or her current lifetime, but rather a woven fabric of many lifetimes.

Second, when we diagnose someone with a disorder the person becomes the diagnosis in the eyes of others. Rather than seeing a child we see a RAD child or we see an ADD child. The true definition of a disorder is a temporary state lacking order. All things in the world are designed to work harmoniously; when someone or something is not working harmoniously then it is in a state of disorder. This is not a permanent state, but a state needing restoration toward order. To be continued....

On The Economy of Our Lives by Bryan Post

On the Economy of Our Lives offers several meanings of the word economy, two of which are: the disposition or regulation of the parts or functions of any organic whole; an organized system or method; and the efficient, sparing, or concise use of something: an economy of effort; an economy of movement.

The key to a more regulated and efficient society equally lies within the home, as the home also is reflected in society. When Gandhi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world", he spoke a simple truth, one that empowers us to seek to be an efficient and sparing part of a greater whole no matter how inefficient and unsparing that whole might appear to be. We matter. You matter. From within your home you can make a difference in the world. The energy and peace you can create gets pushed forward into the greater universe affecting everyone else. When you are in conflict, your ability to be efficient, sparing and working towards regulation impacts the greater universal system.

If you have ever found yourself in a "I don't care and I don't care that I don't care" (personal economy bankruptcy) state of mind, you know how difficult it is to love someone -- especially a challenging child. Karyn Purvis of TCU found that in blood testing exhausted, angry and desperate foster parents, there was a great lack of hormonal chemistry available for self-regulation. And no amount of " a good talking to" was going to help these parents, unless it was to say "take a week off of parenting, gets lots of rest and nutrition and be of good cheer". For each time we struggle, we are challenged with an opportunity to grow, to learn, renew and move forward. If you find yourself thinking or saying "I don't care" and believe it, you have missed a valuable opportunity for growth. If you think or say "I don't care therefore I must need rest, relaxation, breathing and nutrition", then you got the message loud and clear. Lesson learned.

Everyone is aware of the stress our economy is under at this time, more debt than income. The whole system is in a state of dysregulation. The parts are working against one another trying to survive. Cellular biologist Bruce Lipton states that in times of stress our cellular system constricts into survival. Yet the bodymind system only knows two states: thriving or surviving. In the past number of years our economic system has worked neither sparingly or efficient and now it has caught up with us.

This is the economy of our lives. The world we live in. We are challenged to be more efficient, more sparing, more concise in our contributions to the organic whole. Save your words during an argument, conserve your energy, move within and listen rather than expend. Save, accrue, and then spend wisely your words and actions of love. Utilize your energy efficiently and sparingly for a time will come that requires it and you will be ready to meet that challenge.

Always Choose Love,


Have you read Bryan Post's FREE e-Book How to End Lying Now: Why Kids Lie and What You Can Do to Stop It?

Post Contest Giveaways on Facebook! Make sure you stop by our Facebook page often as we are giving away books, DVDs, CDs and discounts. This is a place to learn, play and interact with other committed parents and professionals and WIN!

About Bryan Post

Holiday Peace: Turn Holiday Stress into Peaceful Family Time CD by Bryan Post - Help the Holidays Be Happy Times rather than Stressful Times with Bryan's 4 Point Plan!

"Classic" Bryan Post delivers tips, hints, wisdom and what not to do to help your family have a better holiday with his 4 Point Plan. Don't let the holidays "just happen". The Holidays should not come as a surprise. Plan ahead on how best to help your challenging child - and yourself, stayed regulated. Don't let your anger and frustration or your children's behaviors ruin your holidays. Use the Stress Model to bring Joy to the World, Peace on Earth and Goodwill toward All!

Get a FREE download of the e-Book (pdf) as a bonus with this CD! -- only $10.95 or just get the e-Book for FREE!
For more of Bryan Post’s unique truly love based family centered approach for managing children with challenging behaviors, visit his websites:

  • – A Radical New Understanding of Difficult Children resource site. Lots of free stuff and training materials.
  • – A Parenting “Hands-On” Home Study Course for parents & professionals with RAD kids and many other challenging behaviors and diagnoses.
  • – Resource site for the latest info and research on Oxytocin, the hormone responsible for attachment and bonding.
  • www.postinnercircle.comWhere Desperate Parents Come for Solutions and Support. You Are Not Alone. If there were a way to personally interact with Bryan Post on a regular basis, would you be interested? If there were a community of other parents and professionals who wanted peace and harmony in their families as much as you, and you could learn from them, would you be interested in joining them?

Hello, Here is a question for all of you. What do you do when your child won’t stop taking food from the pantry and hiding it in their room? Please read and answer the different questions that come up and add questions of your own that you may need help with so we can all get ideas from each other and help each other. My example: My 17 year old hides food and wrappers under his mattress even when he knows we will find it. HELP!!! —-Susan D.

A public thank you from a friend in the UK

To David Durovy & Bryan Post

Whom sent me copies of Bryan's books, "From Fear, To Love" & "The Great Behaviour Breakdown", both by email and hard copies by post.

Thank you so much.

I doubt many people in the UK will have heard of Bryan Post or the Post Institute ( but Bryan is clearly a generous man and a man of passion and a special understanding within his field. All parent's, whether of adopted children or whether biological parents, should read his books and watch his videos. The world is a better place because of people like Bryan, who truly understands the importance of love, compassion & understanding.  The books are not available through Amazon UK (and should be!!!) so if you are a parent, whether adoptive or not, and want a copy then approach the institute directly.

Amazon UK do have "Beyond Consequences Logic and Control" which is co-authored br Bryan.

I believe the single most important thing for the future of humanity, is working towards a true understanding of our nature, and Bryan is definitely one of the knights on that quest.

Sir, you have my utmost respect and gratitude!!