How to Have a Peaceful Holiday Season – Part 5 The Plan Cont’d

The Four Point Plan Cont'd

     Note: This is a yearly re-broadcast series to help parents prepare for, and have a more peaceful holiday season, we will be presenting the entire contents of my e-Book How to Turn Holiday Stress into Peaceful Family Time – On Sale for the Holidays between now and Christmas.
     Don’t let the Holidays sneak up on you—they come every year around the same time. Many of our children have great difficulty staying regulated during this time—as do their parents. Be prepared. Plan ahead. Don’t let your frustration, fear or anger ruin the season. Use the Stress Model to help bring calm and peace on earth and goodwill toward all— especially children and parents!

#1 — Window of Tolerance
Are you excited? We’re excited, aren’t we? Yes! Our first consideration for handling stress is to know that we all have a window of tolerance for how much stress we can manage. How much stress can you handle? Your child has a window of tolerance. Start thinking about this right now. Your child can handle only so much stress before he surpasses his window of tolerance and begins to act out. That can be five minutes. Perhaps ten minutes. Sometimes fifteen minutes. Your child has a window of tolerance and you have a window of tolerance. I want you to think about what that window of tolerance is and keep it in mind. We’ll come back to it.

#2 —Time-In
There are four considerations I want you to keep them in mind. We covered number one. Number two is when your child’s window of tolerance runs out, somebody better be there to help reset that mechanism within their body/mind system that helps them come back inside their window of tolerance. This means that you’re going to do some ‘time-in’ during the holiday season. Keep that in mind, ‘time-in’ instead of time-out. If you’ve ever heard me talk about ‘time in’ before, you know I don’t do time-outs. Time-out comes from an old school of thought, an old paradigm of thought that says children act out for attention. Time-in comes from knowing children act out because they NEED attention, not for attention. If we come from the paradigm that a child is acting for attention, we’re not going to give the child attention. Right? That has been how we’ve always looked at children. We’re going to stop that. That gives the child too much responsibility for what he doesn’t fully have the ability to be responsible for. Don’t do time-out. Do time-in. Children will act for attention. They act out because they need attention. Big difference.

#3 —Proactive
Number three is next. This is the main reason why you’re even listening to this program. It’s about being proactive! What Einstein said isn’t going to apply to you and me. By being proactive, we’re going to take the steps to make sure something different happens. These are the steps to help our holiday season go better this year than ever before.

How can we be proactive? You couldn’t be proactive before. You didn’t know about the window of tolerance. You didn’t know about the need to do time-in. Now you can take the steps necessary to help your child and yourself be successful this holiday season. Perhaps some of you are thinking that maybe you shouldn’t have to do this. Perhaps you’re asking, “Why won’t my child just act right during the holiday season?” You know what? I can’t answer those questions. I can tell you you’re dad-gum right. You DON’T deserve to have struggles during the holiday season. You shouldn’t have to do time in or have to be proactive. You don’t deserve any of that. Unfortunately, the other way isn’t working well. We can’t change the past so we’ve got to do something different. That’s what we’re going to do this year. We’re going to do something about it. We’re going to make it different this year and better than any other time before. That’s why you’re going to be proactive.

#4 —You Can’t Always Be There
Now for number four. I want you to keep something in mind. You can’t always be there for your child. Your child is going to mess up at some point. He’s going to mess up. His window of tolerance is going to be reached and passed. You will forget about doing time-in when you’re right in the middle of a big-o-turkey leg. We can take all measures to be proactive that can possibly been taken. However, nothing you do is going to prevent something from happening. You’ve got to recognize that. Your child is doing the best he can. You’re doing the best that you can. Unfortunately, life is not always 4 Stepsgoing to be perfect. Put that out of your mind! Just know that you can’t prevent every single thing from happening.
You can’t always be there. There will be times when things don’t go right. Just relax and know that no one else is perfect either. Okay, do you have those four things down?

You have permission to copy this and circulate to as many people as you think can be helped Help us to bring peace on earth and goodwill toward all.Timeless wisdom for preparing yourself and your challenging child for a smooth transition through the Holiday Season. Don’t let your fear of the past haunt you this year. Get Bryan’s 4 Point Plan – Don’t let the holidays just happen!

Holiday book and cd v.2To purchase this twin-pack e-Book and mp3 audio file on sale for only $4.95 click here.

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