How do I restore relationship with My Child?

QHow do I restore relationship with my 19 year old son no longer living in the home?”

AIt seems challenging to think of rebuilding a lost relationship, especially with ones child. We fail to remember that they are in fact, our child. For a number of years all of the security, nurturing and guidance known was derived from the parents. After spending that much time together you have literally become a part of one another. In this manner the relationship is never truly lost, the pathway always remains. Unfortunately, like an unused back country road it has become grown over and littered with breaks and cracks. Repair must start at the most basic level or simply slowing down and making the time to reach out with a simple phone call, kind gesture, or word of apology. We are constantly on the go. When we are not working we are cleaning, cooking, or engaged in some other activity. In between these things we ask how each other’s day has been, argue about the television channel, spend frivolous moments engaged in meaningless talk, and scold our children for their misbehaviors and laziness. Relationship starts with relating - as in, "Hey, I can relate to that!" In order to relate we must slow down and look at things from the other's perspective in order to truly relate. One good way is to think back to your own youth. If your growing up was anything like mine, compassion and relating should come easily.

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