Attachment Trauma: A Personal Reflection Part 3 by Bryan Post

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Click here for Part 2

And so we struggled. When you have four members of a family attempting to relate to one another in a positive way but unknowingly unconsciously influenced by the blueprints that relationships are not entirely to be trusted or are safe, you quickly gain a portrait of a typical family.

Trauma is any stressful event perceived to be overwhelming, unpredictable, or prolonged. When such an event is not emotionally validated by our direct relationships and environment, then such an event can impact us lifelong. Typically we have a very small window of knowledge for what have been traumatic events in our lives and how they continue to influence us.

When looking at the family portrait we now can see one child adopted at an early age with relatively little trauma around birth, however carrying the seeds of sensitivity to rejection, a fear of abandonment, and ultimately fearful throughout his childhood; Another small child born premature with a possibility of fetal exposure, whose first moments in the world were spent surrounded by the dull hum of an incubator; An adoptive mother who was the oldest daughter of ten children with a hardworking mother, an alcoholic father, and a sharecroppers wages to feed twelve mouths; and a father, the oldest of nine, an alcoholic father, equally poor wages to feed eleven mouths, later a Vietnam veteran suffering from wartime shock.

According to neuroscientist Allan Schore, attachment is the dyadic regulation of emotion. The ability of two peoples to sooth their upset emotional states between each other. Considering the above, and the stressful society in which we live, it is hard to wonder that any attachment at all could be created. It was however, and then story shall be told. To be continued.

Choose Love,

B.

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Want to learn more about trauma and attachment? Reading From Fear to Love: Parenting Difficult Adopted Children by Bryan Post will give you a simple explanation of how it occurs, how it effects relationships, and how to heal it.

A Parenting Must-Have for Adopted, Foster or Biological Children - Honestly, it's the best parenting handbook I've seen for someone with a child that has difficult behaviors... Even if you aren't into reading, this book is a must have. If you are thinking of adopting a child, please read this book. If you have adopted a child, please read this book. If you yourself have been adopted, please read this book. If you're a parent and have nothing to do with adoption in any manner, please read this book." -- Book Review By Literary Litter

You'll never believe how it simple it can be until you understand what really drives your kids.
To read more, just click here.

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