Parenting the Attachment Challenged Child part 5: How to Overcome Lying
Telling the truth is very difficult. If telling the truth was an easy thing there would be few incidences of lying. When an individual, unconsciously, is fearful of being rejected, abandoned, ridiculed, or shamed, the prospect of honesty becomes daunting.
To continue our story from the previous article, following two weeks I had not heard back from the parents. Finally after six weeks I received a phone call, it was from the mother. She exclaimed, “Hello Dr. Post its Sharon from California. I know it has been longer than two weeks, but you won’t believe it, my son has made a complete turnaround! In fact, he has even gotten a job at the local swimming pool. Hallelujah.”
The recommendations were not magical. What is magical is when parents are able to see things differently. Two of the recommendations alone: Spending 20 minutes uninterrupted with their son each evening and telling him he’s never going anywhere, could have made a significant difference by themselves. In the United States the average amount of quality parent-child time is 13 minutes! They almost doubled that. In addition, John Bowlby, the father of attachment theory, stated that the threat of loss is equal to loss itself. In other words, you should never threaten to send a child away because of their behavior. If so you are going to create more fear which will only trigger the rejection they’ve already experienced. This will lead to depression, anger, and the need to lie better.
Thousands of parents have utilized The Three Step Lying Solution effectively. More than a handful of parents have reported using it just one time and their children have not told a lie since. Though it is simple, simple does not mean easy. In the next article we will discuss both why it is difficult to put into place and why it can be effective once you finally use it.
Have you read Bryan Post’s FREE e-Book How to End Lying Now: Why Kids Lie and What You Can Do to Stop It?
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Holiday Peace: Turn Holiday Stress into Peaceful Family Time CD by Bryan Post – Help the Holidays Be Happy Times rather than Stressful Times with Bryan’s 4 Point Plan!
“Classic” Bryan Post delivers tips, hints, wisdom and what not to do to help your family have a better holiday with his 4 Point Plan. Don’t let the holidays “just happen”. The Holidays should not come as a surprise. Plan ahead on how best to help your challenging child – and yourself, stayed regulated. Don’t let your anger and frustration or your children’s behaviors ruin your holidays. Use the Stress Model to bring Joy to the World, Peace on Earth and Goodwill toward All!
Get a FREE download of the e-Book (pdf) as a bonus with this CD! — only $9.95
For more of Bryan Post’s unique truly love based family centered approach for managing children with challenging behaviors, visit his websites:
- www.postinstitute.com – A Radical New Understanding of Difficult Children resource site. Lots of free stuff and training materials.
- www.reactiveattachmentdisorderparenting.com – A Parenting “Hands-On” Home Study Course for parents & professionals with RAD kids and many other challenging behaviors and diagnoses.
- www.oxytocincentral.com – Resource site for the latest info and research on Oxytocin, the hormone responsible for attachment and bonding.
- www.postinnercircle.com – Where Desperate Parents Come for Solutions and Support. You Are Not Alone. If there were a way to personally interact with Bryan Post on a regular basis, would you be interested? If there were a community of other parents and professionals who wanted peace and harmony in their families as much as you, and you could learn from them, would you be interested in joining them?