All day Mary had been looking for her bracelet, she knew for sure that she had placed it on the kitchen counter. “Maybe Peter took it? Surely not, what would he do with my bracelet?” Mary thought to herself. Wanting to believe that Peter would not have taken something from her again after just giving him several consequences the day before for taking things that didn’t belong to him, she reluctantly went into his room. There sat the bracelet in open daylight. When Peter came down for breakfast Mary politely asked, “Peter have you seen that little silver bracelet of mine?” Peter looked at his mother straight in the eye and said, “Nope haven’t seen the thing anywhere!”
Have you had this experience before? Sometimes your child seems to lie about things that are completely obvious? Other times it seems as though he’s just making up a story for no logical reason? Our typical reaction, “I can’t take this anymore. I can not take this constant lying any longer. You will be spending the next three days with no television. You must learn to start telling the truth. If you don’t start telling the truth no one is ever going to trust you.”
To help children overcome lying we must understand why they do it. The only time we tell a lie is when we are stressed and afraid. For a child with a trauma history, he will lie from a place of survival. During moments of asking a child to tell truth he fears that the worst thing that has ever happened to him is going to happen all over again. In that very moment, the child is further away from telling you the truth than you may realize. Literally, the child is afraid for the safety of his life.
A graphic example, imagine a sledge-hammer hanging over your head. You have been told if you tell the truth, the sledge-hammer is going to crash into your skull perhaps ending your life. In that moment someone asks you to tell the truth about the most ridiculous thing. You cannot do it. The fear is much too great and the only sure safety is to lie. In the life of the traumatized, attachment challenged child, his past trauma becomes his sledge-hammer, and insisting that he tell you the truth is only making it worse. To be continued.
What works and what doesn’t work for your challenging child and lying?
Want The Best for Your Family and Your Hurting Child? “My wife and I have adopted 4 kids out of the Foster Care system. We had 27 foster children. I can only say that I wish we would have known then what we know now. Bryan Post offers the only help for kids like these that offers hope, help and step-by-step guidance. Without Bryan Post we would never have come through.” – David & Susan, VA.
This Course offers the most value for the least price. Yet you will be amazed at the progress you will make once you start working with it.
Parenting Attachment Challenged Children “Hands-On” Home Study Course by Bryan Post
is now available and includes the new 5 Hour Course on CD-Rom to accompany the workbook and 6 Hours of Video. This new program provides all the tools and understanding you need in order effectively parent your challenging kids. The home study course for parenting the child with challenging behaviors is life changing and is only meant for the serious parent or professional! This course with accompanying workbook and the 5 hours of course material on CD-Rom to follow along will make the concepts easy to work with. You will have step-by-step instructions on how to create a therapeutic healing environment for children with trauma histories. If nothing else works for your child, this may be the training program you have been praying for. You will never know unless you try it. This best-selling package will start you on the road to restoring peace in your family and give you a running start!
For the first time ever, the Post Institute has put together its most effective video, audio and interactive training program with ground breaking information by Bryan Post. The home study course comes with a newly released CD Rom five-hour workbook format that you can take at your own pace in the comfort of your own home. Includes our new five-hour training course, six hours of video training, downloadable audio recordings of the video presentation for playing on your iPod or MP3 player, a beautifully illustrated color workbook, a copy of the popular The Great Behavior Breakdown (an excellent manual for parenting any children—biological, adopted or foster care), an audio CD with Bryan Post offering his guidance on how best to make the necessary changes in your parenting approach to help your child move past the disturbing and frustrating behaviors, and a copy of Going Home Trouble Shooting Guide with summary points that can be easily read any time that you find yourself struggling.
By learning to calm the stress and diminishing the behavior, you will find peace, love and harmony where before there was only fighting and anger. You will never know unless you try this, but you might always wonder.
To read more, just click here.
For more of Bryan Post’s unique truly love based family centered approach for managing children with challenging behaviors, visit his websites:
- www.postinstitute.com – A Radical New Understanding of Difficult Children resource site. Lots of free stuff and training materials.
- www.reactiveattachmentdisorderparenting.com – A Parenting “Hands-On” Home Study Course for parents & professionals with RAD kids and many other challenging behaviors and diagnoses.
- www.oxytocincentral.com – Resource site for the latest info and research on Oxytocin, the hormone responsible for attachment and bonding.
- www.postinnercircle.com – You Are Not Alone. If there were a way to personally interact with Bryan Post on a regular basis, would you be interested? If there were a community of other parents and professionals who wanted peace and harmony in their families as much as you, and you could learn from them, would you be interested in joining them?